Before every hello, hi and hey you speak, you already know, the goodbye is going to follow soon after. Too soon. When solo traveling, that is the lifestyle you sign up for. It is a choice, not to bring someone from back home along for the journey – for various reasons. Sometimes it‘s simply that there isn‘t anyone to go with. Sometimes it‘s that you want to go alone.
When traveling for a couple weeks or months at a time, I‘ve always found it easier to get to know new people when I‘ve been truly on my own. When you are with a person you already cherish next to you – a friend, a family member, a partner – you don‘t have the same motivation to open up to new people as when the familiar face isn’t there. Because at the end of the day, you have someone to share your time with.
In my experience, you meet amazing people all across the board when you are on your own. And since travelers tend to be very open, you get aquainted quickly. That‘s how you meet these great people you can spend time with, share beautiful moments with, laugh with, go to dinner with and so much more. And I love these moments. They are exciting and you get to know so many interesting stories, maybe even life lessons and great pieces of advise, that you never would have thought you‘d hear. And when the time comes to part, you hug and are grateful that you met.
Occassionally though, you meet these phenomenal people. People you just click with. Doesn‘t even have to be instantly. After all, deep connections don‘t just happen purely by magic – although it can feel magical. They grow when they are being nourished. And when you get the chance to nourish your relationship to one of these very special people, it can grow ridiculously strong. People you‘ve just met a couple days ago, all of a sudden feel like friends you‘ve known for ages, like family. Even the people around you notice it. You hear things like „so, how many years have you guys known each other?“ as if it were an impossibility that you had just met. You tell them everything, and they tell you everything back. The jokes land. The laughter is contagious and barely ever stops. You feel comfortable, even in silence, because you are on that same wavelength that doesn‘t require constant conversation. When conversation is happening though, it flows, without force and without performance. It truly feels like a friendship that has existed for a long time.
And then, naturally, the moment arrives, when you have to say goodbye. Maybe they are going home, maybe you are, maybe you just have different destinations along your individual journeys. And because you are from completely different parts of the world, you do not know, when and where you‘ll see each other again. Which makes the goodbye even harder. The uncertainty of „will we ever?“ works it‘s way into your heart and soul and you hold them a little tighter just to make sure you‘ve said goodbye properly.
When they are gone, the space around you feels emptier. It is it‘s own kind of heartbreak. When talking to new people, they keep coming up, not on purpose, but as you are sharing your past adventures, you feel the desire to talk about them as well. After all, they were a big part of the amazing experience and made it what it was. Suddenly, you feel like everyone around you knows about this person you‘ve spent so much intense time with, without ever meeting them. You tell a story, mention a friend that was with you and you hear „ouh, is that the friend you were talking about before?“. Yes, yes it was. You mention them constantly, everything reminds you of them, something happens during the day and you turn as to tell them, and they aren‘t there. In a way, it feels like you are grieving a loss. Just the other week, one of these phenomenal people said to me „it feels like I‘m dying“ on her last evening before she left the small beach town that had become our little sanctuary and home. And I agree, it does. For no real reason. The human mind is funny like that.
It is also unbelievably and ridiculously dramatic. Because why does it start to overthink if the friendship meant as much to them, as it did to you? All of a sudden, it‘s not about the sadness of them or you leaving anymore. It‘s about: „What if this was too one sided and they won‘t have any interest in visiting me or I them again? Am I foolish for feeling such a strong friendship and love towards them? Am I a fool??“ In a way, it is funny to feel this deeply about people you‘ve only known for a handful of days. Regardless, it truly feels like a family bond. And now you are left wondering if only you felt this bond, and for them you are just a person they met along the way. One of many… You see the dramaticness of it?
And then, the big relief! They text you: „I hope you know I’ll come visit you cause otherwise I‘ll be super upset!“
God, yessss. The sign you‘ve been waiting for. The confirmation that they love you too and you can sleep at night once again!
In all seriousness though, those connections and deeply build friendships and relationships are – even though they cause temporary pain – what makes solo travel so worth it. Because the probability of building these strong bonds while traveling with someone else, is simply lower. Doesn‘t mean it can‘t happen still. But less likely nonetheless.
That said, maybe it‘s one of those moments and situations, where the concept of ‚if it is meant to be, it will be‘ applies. If you were meant to have this deep friendship with this person, it would have been, regardless. And I believe it to be comforting to know, that no matter where in the world we are now, we are friends and have deep love and respect for each other.
I‘m not good at goodbyes. Because they suck. And I hate them. And I‘d love to avoid them. I like to think positively and imagine that I will see these phenomenal people that have turned an already exciting journey into an unforgettable life experience very soon again! Along the journey, in their country, in mine, on another trip, possibly together for parts of it again. But soon. Because that way, I can tell myself, that there is no reason to be sad, because after all, I‘ll see them soon! But of course, time flies by and „soon“ can turn into a long time – without wanting it to. So, everyone I‘ve met and is one of those phenomenal people to me (you know who you are), we‘ll see each other as soon as possible! I miss you tons! And I love you!
And before I get beaten over the head from my friends back home, I love and miss you guys too!!!
