The art of being imperfect

Everyone wants to be perfect. The perfect skin, the perfect lucious hair, the perfect apartment, the perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect lifestyle, the perfect hobbies, the perfect life. Being perfect is a lot of work. It is also unattainable and unrealistic. But most of all, it takes away our freedom and ability to live to the fullest. And the worst of it: we are doing it to ourselves. So why do we? Why do we crave „perfection“?

Most of us have been taught in childhood – through conscious or subconscious conditioning – that being imperfect is the worst we could ever be. Being imperfect includes being a beginner, being bad at things, not always looking our best, sometimes not even behaving our best. And how dare we? We judge ourselves harshly and some – in order to make themselves feel better about their own imperfections – judge others. It is the greatest division of our race.

The unattainable idea of being perfect is caging us in a reality that is the most unrealistic. And even if it were – would it really make us happy once we reach the goal of being perfect? Would we truly feel more like ourselves or would the pressure of maintaining that perfection slowly kill us from within? Because if reaching perfection is so hard, how easy would it be to fall back into imperfection.

So what if we stuck with it? What if we chose imperfection instead? What would that look like? Well, for one, we would start to accept ourselves more and the people around us for who we simply are. We would feel more comfortable in our skin, because we wouldn‘t need to judge every pimple, every dried skin flake in our hair, every wrinkle. We would prioritize how we feel, over how we look. We would even gain confidence from trying new things instead of feeling beaten down by not getting it right on the first try, because everyone would be doing it. Everyone would be open to try new things and willingly accept that not everyone is good at everything. We would gain our own mental freedom back instead of caging ourselves surrounded by fears.

To those who conciously live out their imperfections, it might seem almost ridiculous reading this. After all, isn‘t it clear as day that being a beginner is alright? That not always looking perfectly together and having the little shiny zit on your forehead doesn‘t make you less? Generally I would say: yes, absolutely. There is no debate about all this being completely fine – human even. But as a collective, we didn‘t grow up in a society that lets us be human. We grew up and were raised by a society that supports judgment and division as early as elementary school. And many have not been able to release this conditioning. Some even prefer it and choose to stay in the believe that being perfect is the goal to chase and will judge you even louder for not wanting to live like this. They‘ll call you undisciplined, a slacker, someone who simply isn‘t built for success.

To the people who chose this path: I wish you all the luck in the world. May you reach the pinnacle of perfection as you crave.

For those who would prefer to live their lives more freely, more lively, more joyfully, how do we accept our imperfections? As we have not been taught to accept these parts of ourselves, how do we now later in life?

I‘ve often found that living against societies norms and expectations on how things „should“ be, is somewhat of an art form. Additionally, I always considered artists of any kind some of the bravest people, as they choose to pursue their passions rather than what everyone has told them they should rather do. A form of rebellion if you will. Therefore, things like living out your own little imperfect life to the fullest, instead of chasing societal expectations of perfection, must be another act of artistic rebellion.

And just as any other art form, it takes practice to judge and critique yourself less and less. Said practice won‘t make it perfect either. It is doubtful that you‘ll never catch yourself again looking in the mirror and having a self-criticizing thought. But practicing to accept yourself regardless just as you are will bring improvement. And each day you‘ll be able to see yourself more and more for who you truly are: a real human. A human with real skin, real hair, a real body, real interests, just real.

Choosing to stay imperfect and accepting yourself that way, will likely increase the outside judgment you will receive. After all, if you stop craving and chasing perfection, something must be wrong with you. And they are not wrong. Something is definitely wrong with you. In the best way possible.